This Month’s Mailbag
By Ed Eibel • February 24th, 2008Op-ed Editors:
I love reading your website. I learn so much about stuff. I print it out and read it for my ma so she can enjoy it too.
I have one problem. You use too many big words. You all should be more like Reader’s Digest and use good English that we all can read easy like watching Dr. Phil on T.V. Please, for the love of Jesus, think of the children and other lesser people in the world and use smaller words.
May I suggest such excellent words as: corn-pone or impeachment.
Thank you and god bless.
A Proud American
Dear Op-ed editors,
In regard to last month’s informative article about bad translation, I want it duly noted that, in fact, all anuses need proper examining and it only logical that this it properly advertised in China.
What do you think they examine at the Mayo Clinic? Mayonnaise? Or how many bathrooms are there at Johns Hopkins that they use the plural of John? This is misleading and, in fact, false advertising.
I am just happy that they have begun to celebrate Mardi Gras in Tibet and are proud to show use their tits.
Grievous Grammarian
To Op-Ed Magazine, Legal Department:
This is your first notice to remove all references and the likeness of The Grinch, Dr. Seuss and Christmas from your site immediately. These are all copyrighted trademarks of The Time-Warner Company and the Masonic Temple Rights Temple of Hoboken, New Jersey. Do not cross us. You remember what happened to Kennedy, don’t you?
Danforth J. Quail, Attorney at Law
Op-Ed:
This a quick shout out for our troops in Iraq! May they eradicate the infidels from our lands and bring forth the destruction of the illegal state of Israel. We will force McDonalds to only serve al halal meat products and inspire Penthouse magazine to only print risqué portraits of our beautiful camels!
Sayed Jafar
Dear Editors: I am just so concerned about poor Britney Spears. When do you think she will overcome her troubling time and return to her excellent musical career? I mean, the Spice Girls were able to use heroin, have meaningless sex with famed football players and they returned just as fabulous as ever. It is this quality of artists that can save the music industry from all those actual musicians.Eustacia C. Greene
PS. Why didn’t that Paula Abdul start singing sooner? She’s got a great future in music.
Ed Eibel is Ed Eibel has written for Seattle Dining.com, Sound Rider and Sounds of Seattle. He engineered the live music show, The Live Room, on KEXP in Seattle for three years before moving to Asia. He now is desperate for opportunities to speak in English and is happy to share with you the insight into the Western World he has gained while not living in it. First off, traditional Asian toilets suck. Otherwise, it's the end of the world as we
know it.
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